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Motorsport

Speculation! Speculation! Read All About It!

With the annual game of musical racing chairs currently in full swing in the wonderfully wacky world of Formula 1 and the first major player, Mark “Skeletor” Webber, having made the earth shattering decision to yet again stay with Red Bull on a performance based yearly contract it bring us the perfect opportunity to examine some of the other possibilities still floating around…

Lewis Hamilton has now reputedly been linked with a move to Lotus and with a rapidly growing list of teams interested in the McLaren driver it comes as no surprise that after every failed race produced by the Woking based squad that an increasing number of teams are queuing up to put in their bids. Indeed if Hockenheim produces yet another spectacular slip down the pecking order, the line outside Lewis’s motorhome is expected to wind its way right out the grounds, with the likes of Marussia and even Citroen with Olivier Panis in tow expected to try get in on the act. Panis himself has been overheard musing that a partnership between the two could go a long way to improve long suffering Anglo French relations and if all else fails at least Lewis has the typically sulky French demeanour, making him a perfect fit for the project.

Pastor Maldonado continued his fine tyrannical form at Silverstone, this time notching up yet another hit on Sergio “The Young Mexican” Perez, bringing his total count on Perez this year to two take downs with another memorable score on Lewis Hamilton around the twisty streets of Valencia just two weeks ago. When approached, the Williams team confirmed that Pastor does in fact understand that championship points in Formula 1 are calculated based on finishing position and not how many drivers you can hit along the way.  Then in a completely unrelated report, Pastor Maldonado has now been linked to Ferrari, adding him to the list which includes the likes of Lewis Hamilton and Sergio Perez…

Nico Rosberg conversely has been very quiet of late, with his form falling away considerably in the last few races. Second only to Fernando Alonso as Mr Consistency until recently, Nico has apparently become fed up with this approach and is doing all he can to revamp his style to become more dramatic and hopefully put him back to winning ways. Luckily for him it seems like help has come to the rescue from an unlikely source. Sources claim that Nico has been persuaded to headline a burlesque show somewhere in Thailand with an all lady-boy cast. This will apparently bring back the sparkle to his style and make his driving fantabulous. Meanwhile Ralf Schumacher has said that while he is gutted at not being offered the headline act, he understands the decision.

Finally in the run up to the 2012 London Olympics, Jenson Button has reportedly been spotted trying out for the British Indoor Cycling team. This has apparently stemmed from his disappointment with the McLaren MP4-27’s handling characteristics, which has led him to try his hand on a better developed piece of machinery. The foray into the world of indoor cycling was short lived however, as afterwards Jenson was heard complaining of chronic understeer through each of the long banked left handers.

Nick Hodgson

Speculation! Speculation! Read All About It! was last modified: April 20th, 2013 by Miles Downard

Discussion

2 Responses to “Speculation! Speculation! Read All About It!”

  1. I side with Maldonado – anyone who hits Lewis just makes up for the year of misplaced aggression in 2011. I want to know why Massa stopped his Hamilton-bashing, he was a much better driver when he was bumping Lewis. Now look how badly he is doing. Goes to show Maldonado should carry on.

    Posted by Miles | July 16, 2012, 3:30 pm
  2. At this rate the only record Maldonado will ever break is most penalties in a career (currently held by Lewis himself…). Mark my words, this time next year you’ll be harping on about how other people should bash into Maldonado to make up for his aggression in 2012! When one driver is involved in so many incidents in one season that’s not bad luck, its bad driving. Also from what I can see Maldonado has copy pasted many of Lewis’s excuses. Didn’t fly then and it certainly wont now.

    Posted by Nick | July 16, 2012, 3:43 pm

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